My unconditioned happy life

It’s now been nine months since I stepped out of my conditioned 9-5 life, feeling safe, but stuck in a life that did not fulfill me.

So after travelling 13,000 miles in my van from England to Scotland, France, Belgium, Germany, The Netherlands, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Spain & Portugal I thought I would do an honest blog on how I’m feeling. About myself and life, and whether I am now living the life I desire.

Well, to start with, I am writing this from Bali. I did not plan to be here, my original thought was to stay in Portugal in the van for the winter. But a series of events, including a romance scam (yes crazy I know), led me to make a spontaneous decision one evening in the van to book a flight to Bali for two months. A place on my bucket list that I had always wanted to come.

This is one of the beautiful things about living freely, that you can change your mind whenever you choose and follow the signs.

When I set out my initial thoughts were that I was just going to travel in the van for one year, and after that I would need to sell it to pay back the finance.  However, it became clear very soon after I started this journey back in April, that I would not want to return to my old conditioned life.

If someone said to you “Would you like to live a life of freedom, simple and uncomplicated, free of stress, waking up and going to sleep in the most beautiful places, and being able to work (if you choose) wherever you are,” would you say Yes?

How is the reality on an unconditioned life

So now I will be completely honest, for the most part it is as above. I have reconnected with my heart and soul and am truly living life happily. Is it perfect? Absolutely in the fact that it is perfect with all its imperfections. I miss my children dreadfully, who are another year older since I left, but still not so old, my daughter is 18 and my son 14. Not being a hands on mum is my biggest sacrifice. I did see my son for a short time on Boxing Day but I’ve not seen my daughter since her 18th birthday in September as she is busy living her own unique life, for which I am so proud. They have both grown in independence by us being apart and my letting go has allowed them to flourish in ways they will not yet fully realise.

Who we really are

I know this is going to sound very cliched but I am discovering the person I really am. So much so that I recently got this tattoo in Bali.

I have come to see that although I come across as a gregarious person, someone who enjoys being social, I am also quite the introvert, which I have only come to recognise recently. I keep myself to myself a lot of the time which has meant I have not made so many friends on my journey as anticipated. But this has been perfect.

Do I get lonely

I am often asked if I get lonely. It is not loneliness that I suffer from the most part but rather the being alone. There is a subtle difference. I enjoy my own company as I am always able to occupy myself, but equally happy to do nothing and enjoy the nature that I am submersed in. However, there have been many times along my journey when I have wanted to share the joy of this life I am leading with a man I love. To share the wonder of discovering new places, watching a sunset or just sharing a meal. I have been fortunate enough to have shared a little like this along the way and I am so grateful for those times.

Yes I have become quite spiritually minded on this journey but not to the extent that I have turned completely vegan and am chanting – at least not yet! And Bali is definitely the place to do that.

Writing a book

I have always wanted to write a book and travelling has given me the inspiration and the time to do just this. More on this will be revealed on a blog soon so please do subscribe at the bottom of this post if you haven’t already done so.

It is very easy to become distracted by my surroundings and making the most of each and every day so the book has not progressed as quickly as I would have liked. The same has happened with learning to play guitar.

But now I recognise what is the hurry. Both will happen in their own time. I was dreaming that I would sell my book which would give me the modest income I would like/maybe need to live on. As I well know reality starts as a dream and a desire for it to happen.

With this desire in mind I started the following social media accounts
Instagram http://www.instagram.com/suzimussell
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/mindfulvanlife
Blog http://www.mindfulvanlife.com
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2tFGyTYmbL9-s5kjMvMcqg/

so that those interested in my journey could follow along and maybe be inspired to live dreams too.

Facing Fears

I have faced so many fears along the way, the fear of travelling alone, fears of driving on high steep mountain roads and over high bridges (addressed in Norway and Spain), a fear of deep water (addressed in Bali by taking a surf lesson), fear of going on the back of a scooter with no helmet (happens a lot in Bali). Not yet addressed the fear of riding the scooter myself. I am definitely braver than I thought. I still have these fears but I don’t allow them to stop me from facing them.

Fulfilled and happy

So am I fulfilled and happy with life. Yes, I am, although I know my potential for greater fulfilment and happiness is still available to me.

I have no idea where this journey will lead me or when it may end. For now I just hope to inspire others to step out of life’s conditioning and follow their dreams, whatever they may be.

Please join me

Thank you for reading my blog and if you would like to follow my journey please subscribe at the bottom of the blog page. In the Follow Us box you can also select to follow me on facebook, instagram and YouTube.

It would be great to have you along and please don’t forget to leave some feedback or just a comment to let me know you are out there and enjoying my blogs.

Please feel free to share my blog on your social media too and don’t forget to follow your dreams